


Quack Idol

by Steffie



Series: The Daughter of Dr. Von Goosewing [2]
Category: Count Duckula
Genre: Gen, Humor, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-01
Updated: 2011-10-01
Packaged: 2017-10-24 05:49:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/259693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steffie/pseuds/Steffie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The popular singing contest, Quack Idols, is in town! Count Duckula and his servants decided to enter. Would Count Duckula's dream of becoming a star finally come true?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quack Idol

Hello boys and ghouls to another horrible day in Transylvania. The villagers   
shiver in fear as horrible shrieks and screams echoed from Castle Duckula. What   
horror awaits in that haunted castle today?

*Inside Castle Duckula*

"...He flies through the niiiight, looooking for a bite..." Nanny and Duckula   
sung horribly off-key, which made Igor grimace in pain. What could have happened   
to his ear plugs?  
"May I ask why M'Lord is singing?" Igor sighed in defeat. The question caused   
Duckula to stop singing at once. The mallard waddled up to Igor until he was   
right in front of the vulture, arms akimbo. Nanny was still singing, not   
noticing her Duckyboos wasn't singing with her.

"Why am I singing? Why am I singing? Igor, didn't you hear?" Count Duckula asked   
as he flapped his arms.  
"What didn't I hear, M'Lord?"  
"Quack Idols will be in town tomorrow!" Duckula beamed. Igor's dour expression   
became more of a frown.  
"Quack Idols?"  
"Y'know, that TV show where the one with the best singing voice would become the   
next singing idol? Well, I am particpating." Duckula explained.

Igor inwardly screamed that his young master's singing was terrible enough to   
wake the dead. Yet, the vulture still managed to keep his grim expression as the   
mallard happily exclaimed that he shall finally become a star.  
"Wait a minute!" Count Duckula exclaimed, which made Nanny stop singing.  
"What is it, M'Lord?" Igor asked, dreading the answer the count would give him.  
"How about all three of us compete in Quack Idols?"  
"That will be very nice, Master Duckula." Nanny beamed.  
"No, I refuse to participate!" Igor exclaimed firmly.  
"But, why not?" Duckula whined.  
"I simply refuse, M'Lord."  
"Now that I think about it, I never heard you sing before. Why?" Duckula mused.   
"Some people just believe singing is a waste of time."

"Some people refuse to sing because they're horrible at it!"  
"I only wish that were true for everyone." Igor uttered under his breath.   
Luckily enough for the vulture, his master didn't hear him.  
"So, you refuse to sing at Quack Idols, right?"  
"Yes, M'Lord."  
"How about a deal? You won't have to sing at all at Quack Idols if you don't   
step on the stage. But, for whatever reason, you stepped on the stage, you must   
sing in front of a live audience. Deal?"  
"Deal, M'Lord." Igor smirked as he shook hands with the young fowl to make the   
deal genuine.  
"By the way, I heard Quack Idols shall be broadcasted live around the world!"   
Duckula smirked. Igor inwardly gulped, but he calmed down soon afterwards. All   
he had to do is to avoid the stage, and he wouldn't have to sing!

*The next day*

Count Duckula and his servants were amazed when they arrived at the giant   
building that hosted today's Quack Idols. There were only about a few dozen   
people that waited in the queue to participate.  
"I wonder why not many people are taking part?" Duckula wondered out loud as he   
took his place behind a beautiful blonde goose. She was chatting to an older   
gander (who wasn't in the queue) that looked strangely familiar...

*Much later*

The judges wore bored expressions as they listened to the participants sing.   
Some of the singers sung so badly that the paint on the wall peeled off. A few   
singers sung too softly for anyone to hear. Some singers were good, but they   
didn't stand out much. The TV TV crew was quite concerned about the lack of   
talent the people of Transylvania had. The crew winced when they heard the   
audience in the stage complain that this was the worst Quack Idols competition   
ever. The other participants (who sat in the audience) shuffled in their sits in   
discomfort.

"Next participant: Vanna!" one of the judges (a rooster) called out. A beautiful   
blonde snow-white goose in a red dress climbed up to the stage.   
"You khan do it, Vanna! Mein Kind, making your papa proud you shall!" a gander   
honked loudly as he stood up from his seat. The goose looked a bit embarrassed.  
"Okay Vanna, please sing." another judge asked. The blonde opened her beak to   
sing. A soothing voice came out.  
"In the heart of Transylvania,  
In the Vampire Hall of Fame, yeah,  
There's not a vampire zanier than...  
DUCKULA!  
He won't bite beast or man,  
'Cos he's a vegetarian.  
And things never run to plan for...  
DUCKULA!  
If you're looking for some fun,  
You can always count upon,  
Come and find the one they call...  
HONK!!"  
The goose blushed madly at her mistake. The judges groaned as they smothered   
their faces with their hands. They told her that she almost made it, but the   
honk made her lose. The audience chuckled amongst themselves as the blonde   
shamefully waddled back to her seat, her father reassuring her that she   
shouldn't be embarrassed.

"Next up: Nanny!" the judge (who's a dove) called out. The giant hen climbed up   
the steps. "Okay Nanny, please sing for us." the judge (whose a rooster) asked.   
The hen opened her beak to sing.  
"He flies through the niiiiight, looooooking for a bite!" Nanny's voice boomed   
loudly. The entire building started to shake.  
"STOP!" all four judges shouted at once. Nanny complied, but she looked quite   
dejected.  
"I'm sorry Nanny, but you didn't make it." the judge (whose a flamingo) sighed   
sadly. The poor hen wailed as she ran back to her chair, not caring that she   
caused an earthquake as she did so.

"Next up: Count Duckula!" the judge (who's a crow) called out. Count Duckula   
walked up to the stage. This had attracted the attention of Vanna's father. His   
feathers ruffled as he took a small weapon out of his jacket's pocket: a small   
gun that had a stake sticking out of it. The gander told his daughter to stay in   
her seat as he has to do urgent business.  
"Okay Duckula, please sing." the judge (who's a dove) asked. Before Duckula   
could even open his mouth, a wooden stake suddenly pierced the floor in front of   
him.

"Wha?!" Duckula screeched in fright. His scared expression quickly became one of   
anger when he noticed a familiar gander climbing up the stairs.  
"Von Goosewing, what are you doing here?!" the mallard demanded.   
"Zhat iz nein of your buziness!" Dr. Von Goosewing growled as he tried to shoot   
the mallard again.  
Before anyone could register what happened, the vampire hunter was suddenly   
knocked off stage. The gander flew through the air and landed roughly against   
the tv crew's equipment, knocked out cold. The young blonde that had sung   
before had run up to the fallen doctor, shrieking that she hoped he was alright.   
She sighed in relief when he sat up right and swore in German. Ignoring his   
pleas of allowing him to attack his enemy, Vanna lead her father back to her   
car.

Duckula sighed in relief when he noticed that the person who had knocked   
Goosewing off stage was none other than Igor himself, whom was standing firmly   
on the platform.  
"Thanks, Igor." Duckula smiled. His innocent smile became mischievous when he   
realized what Igor had done.  
"Oh, Igor?" Duckula asked in a sing-song voice.  
"Yes, M'Lord?"  
"Remember our bet that you wouldn't have to sing, unless you stepped on stage   
for any reason?"  
"Oh no..." Igor groaned in his hands.  
"Puh-zacktly! You will have to sing right after me, Igor."

After Duckula had sung horribly, the judges had called Igor. The disgruntled   
vulture mumbled under his breath as he climbed up the steps.  
"Okay, Mr. Igor, please sing." all four judges droned in a bored tone. Count   
Duckula and the rest of the audience watched in hushed anticipation as Igor took   
a deep breath. The butler finally opened his beak to sing, a superlative and   
emotive bass voice escaping his throat.

"If you're feeling scared or you're a little cuckoo maybe you've run   
into...Duckula.  
If your knees go knock or your teeth go chatter maybe you've bumped into   
Duckula.  
He flies through the night, looking for a bite, but he's back here by daylight.   
Duckula.  
If you're sort of scared or you're a little cuckoo, it's certain you've run into   
Duckula.  
If your heart goes thump or your mind goes crazy, man you've had a brush with   
Duckula.  
So, watch out for the horrors, beware of the dark and pray you'll never meet   
with Duckula."

As soon as Igor stopped singing, the entire audience and the judges clapped and   
cheered loudly. Count Duckula and Nanny joined Igor on stage, both still a bit   
shocked the old fowl could sing so well.   
"Congratulations Mr. Igor, you are the new winner of Quack Idols." both the   
presenter and producer of TV TV cheered loudly.  
"That's great. So, what did Igor won?" Duckula asked, seeing dollar signs.  
"Mr. Igor had won a free trip to Hawaii for one week, which had everything   
included." the presenter stated, sounding a bit nervous. Count Duckula quacked   
happily, not pondering why this version of Quack Idols was so different than the   
others...

*Two weeks later*

"Come Igor, Nanny, the show would start at any moment!" Count Duckula bellowed   
as he made himself comfortable in front of the television. A few seconds later,   
a loud crash was heard as Nanny smashed through the wall. Igor was right behind.   
They both then sat in the couch next to their young master.  
"Hey, the show's about to start!" Duckula cheered loudly. He quickly frowned   
when the show's title popped up.

" 'Our Wacky World'? Hey, what's going on?" Duckula fumed. All three fowls paid   
full attention when the face of TV TV's presenter popped up.  
"Welcome to this week's episode of Our Wacky World. Today, we will be talking   
about how reality shows seemed to only attract idiots and the talentless."  
Clips of Count Duckula and Nanny singing were shown at the small corner of the   
screen.

"Two weeks ago, TV TV had pretended to be hosting Quack Idols, with the special   
permission from the producers of Quack Idols. To our utter disappointment,   
ninety-nine percent of the participants had no talent.," A short clip of Igor's   
singing was shown. The vulture shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he heard   
himself sing, "The one percent that had talent didn't even participate until his   
friend actually bullied him into taking part!"

Count Duckula angrily switched the television off and stomped out of the room in   
anger, Igor and Nanny following him.  
"M'Lord, whatever is the matter?" Igor dared himself to ask. He had a vague idea   
what was wrong, but dared himself to ask anyways.  
"Igor, I only have one thing to say...", Count Duckula replied in a calm and   
even voice,   
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As the entire universe shook from the terrible howls of the vicious vampire   
duck, I have to bid you all farewell.

Good night, out there...whatever you are!

The End


End file.
